By Andy

Time is a great thing

From ‘we won the league at Ibrox 5 points clear' to ‘we got fcuked at Ibrox, 5 points behind . . . and counting'. There hurting really badly, it's like a cancer which just doesn't stop – since Seville – we have witnessed many great events. I don't really need to go into to much detail; I'll leave that honour up to you. Stop for a minute and have a think just how badly they must be hurting, I bet your laughing – and if your not – then you're an impostor and we're laughing at you!

Things that are not possible with men are possible with Marv

Before we elaborate further on today I'd like to take time to thank Marvin Andrews. Criticised so heavily, as well as having the burden of a serious knee injury hanging over him and returning from International duty less than 36 hours ago. A lesser man would have taken the easy way out, most people do, and claim tiredness was preventing them from taking to the field. But not Marv. Despite the fierce criticism in recent days, Marv produced a steady but necessary performance to snuff out the SPL's top scorer and Celtic's hatchet man; Big Fat John. Let's look at it from a realist's point of view. Imagine you were coming back from Europe (some people reading this wont be able to do that to next year ;)) and practically as soon as your feet touch the ground, having to report to work (Note to Timmy – Work is that big bad thing that prevents your Giro) for probably the most important day of the year so far – would you be up for it???

It was classed as the clash of old pals, ‘Ginger Giants (the irony) collide'. Perhaps little and large would have been more appropriate. When the teams took to the field, I must admit, that I was amused at the resemblance of Strachan's face to that of the 14 year old ball boys. Maybe his starring role in Coronation Street will come sooner than expected should his ineptness continue.

PRE MATCH
Reading the team sheet also brought a smile to my face. In goals was a Pole (which they have no flag to fly on it) who is unable to oust Jerzey Dudek as Poland 's number one, scary. Next up was the wingbacks, and seeing Paul “I was the mainstay in Southampton's defence last year” Telfer and Mo ‘the Burnley reject' Kodak ensured that pre match nerves were non existent. The comedy didn't stop here. Nice to see they were desperate enough to HAVE to include Bobo “I'm here until a better offer comes along” Balde. As I read further down the list my temper rose as I seen Celtics captain Neil “the bigot” Lennon, my anger lasted no where near as long as my delight at his childish outburst after the match had ended. One can only hope that he's back for more treatment when Rangers travel to Breezeblock Boulevard later this year. One of the last names on the team sheet brought a slight bit of sadness Marciej “the disappearing striker” Zurawski would not be able to grace Ibrox with his undoubted talents. Paul Daniels was said to be in the Ibrox crowd to see just how he does it – starting a match and then going invisible for the rest of it is something that needs to be commended.

The script was set perfectly – a fifteen minute delay mean more time to rub it in. It seemed Celtic were going back to there old ways, seconds into the match and the ball was launched up to fat boy, it seems that Strachan too, is incapable of getting a team to play football. As the game progressed it looked as though some of that disappearing magic which Zurawski possesses was rubbing off on the Japanese ‘superstar'. Within the first 45 minutes the man tipped to take the match by storm managed to cause no more than a little breeze. If this man is the one to solve our rival's problems then it's clear that Hearts have nothing in their pursuit for second place.

With the aid of video evidence and some still motion frame shots, I can confirm the blatant act of thuggery from the monkey that is Alan Thompson. Anyone who tries to vindicate Thompson's career threatening lunge really need to take off their green tinted specs. Had Novo's leg been implanted in the ground when contact was made then the result of yesterday would have been irrelevant. Maybe Tampon is still raging that our Spanish superstar said no to the Provo 's. Speaking of Provo 's – the only word I can use to describe the Pro IRA filth in the second half is pathetic. When the game is lost, let's turn to Sean South – the would be suicide bomber who is now a martyr for the cause, only the mentally challenged could take up such a thing. . . . It is Celtic we are talking about, so no surprises there.

Big Eck

Much had been said, in the run up to the match, about Ecks (lack of) tactical knowledge. Its shameful that most of this has not came from Spiersy and Spew, it was in fact fellow bears who filled the message boards with anti Eck and Eck must go posts in light of our defeat up north. The guy has won 7 trophies. Do the maths and you will see that his trophy per season ratio is better than most that would be classed as ‘great managers'. On to Europe and it's so easy to say he's tactically naïve – with hindsight of course. Yes he's made mistakes but none worse than anyone before him – again look at the facts – how many times have we been in Europe past Christmas or had a campaign which has been successful? Advocaat was close to achieving this – it's easy to do that. Give any manager, even one as inept as Chesney; 40 million pound to spend rashly and at regular intervals and you'll soon have a team which can come close to reaching the second stages of the CL. Conversely, put the constraints that Eck has faced on many managers and you'll see a team far worse off than we ever were in the last 5 years.

Enough of the doom and gloom stuff – lets re live yesterday.

The Blue Order

A big well done to them. The banners on show were top class. The humour of “welcome to the Mo Camara show” was up there with the CSA's attempt at writing Hail Hail at Breezeblock Boulevard . I thought more appropriately would have been to honour last seasons showing with the words ‘fail fail' but yet again it seems as though the ‘faifful froo n froo' are deluded fcuk wits. Lets honour the men who failed to hold on to the league after being 5 points clear with four games to go . . . . If it wasn't for them – you couldn't make it up.

BREAKING NEWS

Neil ‘the bigot' Lennon has been caught in the Daily Record making a *Beep* gesture to the Rangers crowd. Firstly this begs the question – what would you like done to him? Is the possibility of him never returning to Ibrox in a Celtic shirt fair on us Bears? Secondly this picture being published in this particular newspaper perhaps confirms one thing I have always believed. The Record is not anti Rangers or Celtic – it just suffers from the fact that they have incompetent journalists.

Lest we forget we won and Celtic are STILL hurting. . .long may it continue.